Those Damn Kids!
by Tensai55
Summary: What do you do when you find a strange teenaged state cooking breakfast in your kitchen? England had no idea, he just hoped he wouldn't get shot by said state's overprotective father. USxUK
1. Teenagers can be such a pain

_**Those Damn Kids!**_

_Chapter 1: Teenagers can be such a pain._

* * *

England yawned as he walked down the stairs to his kitchen. Now, normally this event would be cause for mass panic as it would indicate that England was planning on attempting to cook. However this morning, sure disaster was diverted by an unexpected presence in said kitchen. England stopped short as he noticed a tall teenager in his kitchen. England wasn't quite sure what to make of this. While it was rather normal for him to come downstairs and learn that America had shown up sometime during the night, he had never before found an unknown girl in his kitchen before. She moved rather efficiently around his kitchen, her long dark brown hair swaying in its ponytail as she cooked something that smelled very appetising. She was dressed like most teenagers these days, blue jeans and a simple pink t-shirt. Not quite sure what to do, England stepped into the kitchen and cleared his throat, noticing as he did so that even though she was brewing coffee (he always kept a bit on hand for when America dropped in, although he always claimed it was only to avoid listening to the other's whinging) she also had a kettle of hot water on the stove. Was she making tea as well?

Startled, the girl turned around and England got a good look at her eyes. They were a clear sky blue – the same blue as America's… "Good morning, Iggy!" She chirped happily. "Breakfast is almost done."

"…Who are you?" England asked, unable to find a more polite way to put it. He could now see that the t-shirt she was wearing had rather strange saying on the front, 'Will trade boyfriend for tractor.'

The girl blinked and said, "Y-you don't remember me? Then again, I haven't seen you since you helped me burn down Fort Madison." She smiled and turned back to the bacon she was frying. "That's kinda sad, seeing as I always sorta admired you after that."

"Fort Madison?" England racked his memory for that particular battle. Madison, so it was built by English-speakers. Likely Canada or America then. "War of 1812, wasn't it?"

"Well, it was in 1813, to be specific." She flashed him a grin as she set the bacon on the table. "I wasn't actually s'posed to be there, you know. My tribe wasn't really involved, just a coupla us rogues decided to help out Black Hawk."

"…Ioway, wasn't it? And a few of your brothers were there too, I think." England finally said. He hadn't thought about the little Native nations in a long time. He'd never been sure what America had done with them, although he'd heard that several of the tribes were given small tracts of land.

"Yep, though I go by Iowa now." She said cheerfully and sat down at the table. England sat down as well and watched with interest as she piled eggs, bacon, sausages, and muffins onto her plate. "Don't you want any?" Iowa asked as she began pouring her coffee into a mug.

England smiled and began to help himself as she apparently wasn't going to dish out his serving. America's children were apparently every bit as casual as America, which wasn't all that surprising, really. "Not that I mind you making me breakfast, but why did you decide to visit?" He asked, unable to suppress his curiosity any longer.

Iowa swallowed the bite of eggs she had taken before answering. At least this one had more manners than America. "Well, you have brothers, right?" Iowa asked, hesitantly.

England scowled, "I have three older brothers." He added under his breath, "Pain in the arse, all of them."

Iowa gave a short laugh, "Then I think you'll understand what I mean when I say that I really needed to get away for a bit." She took a sip of her coffee and added, "Normally I go visit Yamanashi or one of my other sister states, but, well, I figured that I hadn't seen you in awhile." She shrugged and continued, "From what Dad says, you never mind when he drops in unannounced, so I figured you wouldn't get too upset."

England found himself blinking at that. Why would he be upset for receiving visitors? He cleared his throat, "Well, you are always welcome to stop by for a visit." He poured his tea and wondered privately how long it would be before America broke down his door and accused him of trying to steal one of his daughters. England had only met a small portion of America's states, and from what he understood, America was very overprotective of all his children.

* * *

Minnesota chewed his bottom lip nervously as he ran a hand through his short sandy blond hair. It had been an entire week since Iowa had gotten fed up and stormed out. And nobody knew where she was! Her cell was turned off and she wasn't replying to his e-mails. He had even gone as far as calling all of her sister states and all of his own siblings. The last anyone had seen of her was at the Des Moines Airport. He didn't even know what flight she took! Minnesota was aware that he had a tendency to worry about his more reckless siblings (mainly Iowa and Missouri) a bit more than was usually warranted, but he felt that in this case he was justified. He opened his cell nervously and thumbed down his contacts list to the number that was generally best left as a last resort – his father's number. Taking a deep breath, he waited for America to answer. He already knew how America would react – he always freaked out over stuff like this.

* * *

England glanced up from his embroidery, more than a little exasperated as Iowa gave yet another sarcastic, disparaging remark to the telly. Could she watch anything without criticising it to pieces? Well, anything other than _Doctor Who_. England had been surprised to learn that the young state had never missed a single episode. (She had also demanded that they watch the film that had never been released in the States. He still wasn't sure how she won that argument.) England was quite ready to demand that she return home and likely would have done so, if he could think of how to do so without being point blank rude. After all, she'd been here for two weeks and had yet to indicate when she would be leaving.

The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. Sighing, England picked up the phone. "Iiiiggyyyy!" The wail cut through England's polite 'hello.' "Iggy, it's terrible! It's horrible! It's-it's-"

"America, calm down!" England snapped. His patience with Americans had never been very good and it had already been stretched to the breaking point these last few weeks. (Although, England did have to admit that Iowa was a rather good cook, if a bit unorthodox in her methods at times. She had the alarming tendency to experiment with recipes.) "Now what is the matter?"

America sniffed and cried, "Someone kidnapped my baby! She's gone, Iggy! My little Iowa's been snatched away!" England rubbed his temples in exasperation. "I've looked everywhere for her! I-I think Al Qaeda m-must have-"

"America!" England cut in; there was no way he was going to let America finish that thought. Honestly, terrorists weren't the only malevolent force out there. "Get over here!" It was best to just let the two sort it out themselves than try to explain to a hysterical America that he had not kidnapped Iowa.

"Wh-what?" America protested. "No, I can't come over now. I have to find my-"

"America, I will help you." England growled. "But I need you to come over here NOW! We will discuss this in person." And hopefully the idiot wouldn't try to shoot him.

"…Okay." America said rather timidly. "I'll be on the next flight out of D.C."

"Good." England said. "I will see you shortly." As he hung up the phone, England glanced over at the couch, which was now empty. "Damn." Now he had an errant state to track down.

* * *

**A.N.** This is a first for me. I decided that since this story is, for the most part, from England's POV that I should try to use British spelling and terms in the narrative portions as well as speech. I'm not sure how well I did, as I'm an American that has never been to the UK. So, if any of you know of any British terms that I should have used in place of American ones, please let me know. Spelling-wise too.

By the way, the part from Minnesota's POV is meant to be American English. I'm aware that British use the term 'mobile' and that Americans say 'cell.' I actually did that purposely as a contrast.

**Historical note:** Iowa was part of the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, but it wasn't until the construction of Fort Madison in 1808 that the US gained military control over the region (although it was tenuous at best). It was not a very well designed fort, and in 1813 British-supported Native Americans defeated it. The natives were led by Black Hawk and the warriors were primarily from the Potawatomi, Ho-Chunk, Kickapoo, and Ottawa tribes.

The Ioway tribe was not one of the tribes that fought against the US, or at least not as a tribe. I imagine they likely were sympathetic with the other tribes, especially the Ho-Chunk as the Ioway claim to be descended from them.


	2. Why England Hates Family Reunions

_**Those Damn Kids!**_

_Chapter 2: Why England hates family reunions._

_

* * *

  
_

England felt himself breathe a sigh of relief when he found Iowa in her room. He watched her silently as she packed her things. "Leaving are you?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.

Iowa shrieked and jumped about a foot in the air. Spinning to face England, she exclaimed, "Iggy! Don't scare me like that!" The state clutched her chest for a bit, obviously trying to slow her racing heart. "Sorry, but I think I've intruded on you long enough. It's probably time for me to go home."

England scoffed, "I would say it is past time, seeing as your father believes you have been kidnapped."

The brunette looked at her feet and said quietly, "That's why I have to go. If I hurry, I can catch him and make up some BS to calm him down." She thought about it for a moment and added, "And hopefully get Nebraska in trouble. That'd be sweet."

"And why do you want to get him in trouble?" England asked as he raised one of his thick eyebrows.

"Oh, no reason." Iowa shrugged, "I owe him one is all. It would serve him right for making fun of me." She scowled as she finished.

"Making fun of you?" Suddenly England felt like he was once again a parent, sorting out yet another argument between America and Canada. "Is that what this is all about?"

"Well," Iowa began playing with her hair nervously, and then burst out, "He – he was making fun of my Hawkeyes! And – and 'Sota and 'Souri agreed with him!" She looked as though she were on the verge of tears.

England gently led her to the bed and sat down with her. Clearing his throat, England wrapped a comforting arm around the distraught teenager. "It was very mean of your brothers to make fun of your… er, Hawkeyes, was it?" England was more than a bit puzzled. What on earth was a 'hawkeye?'

Blue eyes glared fiercely up at him. "The University of Iowa Hawkeyes. They're one of my college football teams."

England blinked, not believing his ears. "You ran away because your brother made fun of your team?" This was even more ridiculous than the time America locked Canada in the cellar after Canada laughed at America for getting stuck climbing an oak tree. Then again, America did take his football very seriously, so why wouldn't his children?

"Uh…" Iowa blushed. "Well, it's embarrassing! I can't believe they lost to those stupid Huskers! And then Nebraska had to go and make fun of them!" She pouted. "I could have dealt with that, but then 'Sota and 'Souri had to join in! I – I just had to get away for a bit!" She glanced up at England hesitantly, looking for all the world like the proverbial little boy who had lost his puppy.

"Alright," England said soothingly. "I don't blame you, but in the meantime, America is on his way here. And I would prefer it if you would explain this to him, alright?"

Iowa snorted, "Dad won't get it. He doesn't really care about college football. I'd have better luck talking about NASCAR with him."

England was at a bit of a loss. America was always going on about his football; surely he would consider this as serious as Iowa obviously did…. And what the bloody hell was NASCAR? England sighed, either way; this was America's mess, not his. "Regardless, this is something you should discuss with him, alright?" He gave Iowa a stern look, the same one that always got America to behave. Well, it did until America decided to be independent. However, it seemed the look still worked as Iowa gave him a sheepish look and nodded reluctantly. "Good." He said as he stood up. "Your father should be here in a few hours, and I expect you to greet him."

Iowa sighed as she stood up. "Yes, Iggy. I'll stall Dad and keep him from spazzing out on you." She rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. "S'pose I should make some brownies or something. I'm sure Dad'll be hungry." England just chuckled and followed her down the stairs.

* * *

England hurried to his front door as the man on the other side pounded incessantly on it. Opening it, England began to lecture the other purely out of habit. "I was coming, you oaf! There was no need to knock so hard. Were you trying to knock it down?"

"Sorry, England." America said distractedly as he pushed his way past the slight nation. England found himself a bit put out at the fact that the other had moved him so easily. "I need to find Iowa quickly before anything happens to her. Why did you want me to...?" America trailed off as his eyes landed on an innocent green 'Deere Season' hooded sweatshirt draped haphazardly over the back of England's couch.

Upon spotting what had struck the normally talkative blonde mute, England immediately swore under his breath and said, "America, it isn't what you –"

The younger nation wasn't paying any attention. Instead, the taller man walked over to the couch in quick, jerky strides and picked up the sweatshirt. "This... H-how..." Then he looked back at England. England could see the conclusions being drawn as America's clear blue eyes filled with rage. Damn, he was going to get shot.

"How could you?" America roared, his fury radiating off him in waves. "How dare you try to take my daughter away from me! Is this supposed to be some form of sick revenge for my independence?! I can't believe this! After I trusted you!" America raged as he steadily backed England against the wall. "Where is she, you sick bastard?!" America demanded as he fisted his large hands in England's shirt and pushed him flush against the wall.

"Good God!" Iowa's voice cut in before England could muster a reply. "Calm down, Dad. Spaz, much?" She rolled her eyes and set the plate of brownies on the coffee table. "If you don't cool it, you won't get any brownies." England noted that she sounded as though she were used to such outbursts.

"Iowa!" America exclaimed, releasing England as he ran towards his prodigal daughter. Engulfing her in a crushing hug, he mumbled, "My little girl! I thought I'd lost you!" Sobbing, America burst into noisy tears. England couldn't believe what he was seeing. It wasn't as though the girl wasn't capable of handling herself. After all, she was, what? 150? Blinking at the sudden image, England found himself remembering a similar situation, only Iowa seemed content to let her father treat her like a little girl. At that age, America had been insisting that he could handle himself. England found himself wishing that he'd had a daughter instead of sons, perhaps then they wouldn't have been so eager to leave him. Then again, considering his luck...

Iowa rubbed her father's back comfortingly, "It's alright, Dad. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you." She paused and added a bit sardonically, "Geez, Dad, you didn't freak out this much when Alabama shot me." There was no real malice or anger in her face. England supposed she was referring to America's Civil War, as he couldn't see America letting something like that go otherwise.

"Th-that was different!" America protested. "I wasn't exactly myself then, either." He paused and asked, "Why are you here anyway?" He looked at England suspiciously as he guided Iowa to sit on the couch, still not releasing her.

"Hmm?" Iowa responded innocently; England could see the mischief sparkling in her blue eyes. "Oh, England was kind enough to allow me to stay after I got in a fight with my brothers." That was the first time she had called him by his full name. Up until now, the impish state had always called him by the nickname that America had given England back when the younger nation was still just a cute little colony that adored his 'Iggy.'

"...I see." America said, still giving England suspicious looks. "Who made the brownies?" England was a bit thrown by the sudden change of subject. There was no way that America was going to let this drop that easily. He was certain that it would be a long time before he managed to restore America's trust in him.

"I did." Iowa chirped cheerfully, seemingly used to the abrupt shift in topic. Of course, England mused, she was likely happy to move the conversation away from why she felt it necessary to visit England. "I found some Jelly Beans and added them to the mix. Let me know how it tastes." Great, she was experimenting again. At least it wasn't only on him this time.

"Okay." America said as he bit off a large chunk of brownie. He chewed for a bit, then paused and forced himself to swallow. The dense blonde coughed and quickly took a swig of the coffee that Iowa had conveniently placed next to the brownies. "Where did you get those Jelly Beans?" Having bit out his question, he continued gulping down the coffee with apparently no regard for his mouth as England was certain the coffee was burning hot.

Iowa seemed shocked that her father would have such an extreme reaction to her cooking. "Ah, I found them in Ig-England's cupboard. Why?"

England frowned, "I don't have any Jelly Beans. Wait..." He said as he recalled the previous day. "Didn't you buy some yesterday when we went grocery shopping?" He didn't recall seeing her grab any Jelly Beans, but perhaps she had put some in the cart when he hadn't been looking. Unless… No, she couldn't have…

"No," Iowa replied, "I thought you did." She paused as she thought about it. "In fact, I'm certain I saw you buy a small box of Jelly Beans."

England stared at her in horror. "That was Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans." He surveyed the brownies mournfully. And they looked so good too. "Maybe the fairies will eat them." He thought out loud.

"So even when Iggy isn't cooking, he still manages to ruin it." America commented; having finally drunk enough coffee to get the taste of vomit and earwax out of his mouth. Although, one glance at the coffee pot revealed that there was none left, so perhaps he had merely run out. "And I highly doubt even those imaginary friends of yours would eat those." The git just didn't know when to quit.

Staring at the oblivious blonde, England's face turned bright red as he realised just what America had said. Drawing himself up to his full height, England immediately began berating the other nation while Iowa looked on in amusement. "You stupid, ungrateful, incorrigible git! I ought to–" England strode furiously towards America, his emerald green eyes practically spitting fire.

"Don't mind Dad, England." Iowa cut in abruptly as she intercepted the infuriated former empire and guided him to a nearby chair. "He just likes to push your buttons and you know it."

England reluctantly allowed himself to be manoeuvred into the chair, even though he really just wanted to strangle the American. Who did he think he was, storming into England's house like he owned it, threatening England, and insulting his cooking, not just once, but twice! And fairies are not imaginary!

* * *

**A.N.** Yes, college football is a very big thing in Iowa and Nebraska, and the main source of their rivalry. Nebraska's team is the Nebraska Huskers and Iowa has four main schools/teams: Iowa Hawkeyes (who are doing really good this year), Iowa State Cyclones, Northern Iowa Panthers, and Drake Bulldogs. There is also considerable rivalry between Iowa and Iowa State. For all you Iowa State fans out there, no offense is meant. Also, I'm not referring to a real game. I just made this situation up to give Iowa and Nebraska a chance to fight. No offense is meant towards Huskers fans/Nebraskans either.

I just couldn't resist having Iowa prank America, even if it was an honest accident. Poor America.

**Historical Note:** There were no battles fought within Iowa during the Civil War. Iowa fought on the side of the Union, and of the total population of 675,000, 116,000 men were in military service. Of that 116,000, over 75,000 were volunteers. Over one-sixth of the volunteers died in battle.


	3. You Can Never Have Too Many Shoes

_**Those Damn Kids!**_

_Chapter 3: You can never have too many shoes._

* * *

America waited patiently for England to take the dishes to the kitchen before he turned to his 29th state and asked bluntly, "What happened? And I don't want to hear that bullshit you gave me earlier." He watched with satisfaction as the lanky teenager gaped at him in shock. He may let things slide every now and then, but that didn't mean he couldn't tell when his children were lying to him; although, he did have to admit that some of his states were really good at coming up with rather inventive ones.

"It wasn't bull!" Iowa protested defensively before correcting herself, "Well, not entirely." Not entirely? This sounded like it could be a good one.

America just gave his daughter a hard look and pulled out his ace. "Báxoje. I want to hear the truth." Iowa sat up straight at hearing her old tribal name. America had learned a long time ago that the best way to get some of his former tribal states to behave was to acknowledge their origins.

"I told you, I was fighting with my brothers and decided to visit England to get away for a bit." Iowa staunchly proclaimed. "It's not like I've never decided to randomly visit someone before." Apparently she was going to be stubborn about this, not that it was really all that surprising. Iowa did have a tendency to stubbornly stick with her decisions (and stories) no matter how many holes were punched in them.

America gave a bark of laughter. "True, but since when do you visit England. You always visit one of your sister states. And you never stay for more than a week." He raised an eyebrow at the stubborn state, curious as to how she would counter.

Iowa blushed, "I-I was having fun." She hesitated then asked pointedly, "Why is it such a big deal? Alaska spends weeks at a time playing with Uncle Matt's provinces and you never flip out on him." Ooh, good point.

Wincing, America scowled, "That's different! In fact, I would prefer it if you would visit Matthew for more than just hunting and fishing." Iowa gave him a look of disbelief and he found himself explaining, "I know I can trust Mattie." Really, there was no other country he could trust not to make designs on his precious states.

"And you can't trust England?" Iowa countered. "Then how come _you_ called _him_ for help on finding me? You trust him to find me, but not take care of me?"

America blushed, caught in his own actions. "Th-that's not what I meant. I trust England more than probably anyone, but that's cuz I know what I can expect from him." He cleared his throat nervously. "England and I still have things that we just can't and won't trust each other with. And I'm not willing to trust him with any of my states." He added mentally, "Not yet anyway." Maybe someday they'd get to that point, but for now that day was still far off in the future.

"Not yet?" Iowa demanded. Shit, had he said that out loud? "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He really had to watch what he said in front of some of his states. Iowa was the sort to get ideas he never wanted to hear.

"Uh, ah," America stammered, turning bright red. "That's not— I mean— I didn't— Aw, crap." He buried his face in his hands. How the hell was he going to recover from that one? "I didn't mean it like that. Someday I might be able to trust Iggy with you and your brothers' and sisters' welfare, but it isn't going to be anytime soon." He paused before adding defensively, "Hell, we only started talking to each other during World War One." Although, he added privately, we didn't actually try to get along until World War Two.

"Dad," Iowa said, aggravated, "It's not like any of us really need much in the way of looking after. Hell, most of us can take care of ourselves just fine." Great, now she was bringing this up.

"That's enough, Iowa." America said. He really didn't want to get into this sort of discussion right now.

"But—" Iowa tried to say.

"Iowa Rebecca Jones, we are not discussing this now." America snapped, feeling a bit guilty as the girl recoiled at the force of his voice.

"You aren't going to win that argument." America started at England's voice. When had he returned from the kitchen? "After all, I believe we had the same argument when you were around Iowa's age." England continued dryly. "I'm sure you recall how that ended."

America felt his mouth open and close silently. Shit, how the hell was he supposed to respond to that?! "I-Iggy! I—"

"Iowa, it was nice to see you again, but I think it would be best if you returned home now." England continued, completely ignoring America's attempts at a counter-argument. "Please ring me up when you get back home." America watched in shock as England gave Iowa a hug and a kiss on the forehead. What the hell?! No way was this happening!

"Sure thing, Iggy!" Iowa chirped cheerfully, returning the hug and giving him a kiss on the cheek in return. "I had lots of fun too. We should definitely hang out again."

England, the smug bastard, laughed at that. "Of course, and I'll be sure to invite you to the next _Doctor Who_ premier." Now he was bribing her?!

"Sweet!" Iowa exclaimed, "That would be friggin' awesome! I love you, Iggy!" America couldn't believe his ears. England was trying (successfully) to steal his daughter away. Even worse, he chose to start with Iowa. If she had been a coastal state, he could have limited the damage before it spread, but Iowa was in the middle! And, knowing her, the first thing she would do when she got home was tell her entire region. America had a bad feeling about this…

* * *

Minnesota glanced nervously at his brothers as they waited for Iowa to disembark from the plane. Iowa had called him as soon as she arrived back in the States and all but demanded that he gather their region for her homecoming. Apparently there was something she wanted to discuss with them. Luckily, Minnesota had been able to convince the majority of their region to wait at his house. But there was simply no shaking Missouri and Illinois. He only hoped they wouldn't cause a scene, Missouri especially.

"There she is!" Illinois exclaimed, "Where did Dad find her again?"

"England." Missouri replied. "It figures though. She was about due for some dramatics." Minnesota rolled his eyes at his older brothers' antics. Iowa and Missouri might get along well now, but they did have a history of being at each other's throats. He wasn't sure Iowa had ever really forgiven Missouri for siding with the South during the Civil War. It was sort of a taboo subject between them. Then again, they hadn't really gotten along very well before that either, Minnesota thought, remembering the so-called Honey War.

"'Sota! 'Souri! Abe!" Iowa called, waving to them as she ran over to them.

"Becca!" The brothers chorused as they greeted their sister, shoving each other in their attempts to hug their prodigal sister. Each of the states had chosen names to use when in public, mainly so that they wouldn't get strange looks for calling each other by their state's name. Iowa Rebecca, Minnesota Daniel, Missouri Jesse, and Illinois Abraham Jones were their official names, although if they could shorten their state names (i.e. 'Sota, 'Souri) they often used that instead.

Iowa laughed cheerfully as she greeted her enthusiastic brothers. "Where's the rest?" She asked, glaring at Minnesota. "I believe I specifically told you to gather the entire region."

Missouri and Illinois snickered as Minnesota huffed, aggravated. "They're waiting for us at my house."

"Oh, okay then." Iowa shrugged. "C'mon, my stuff's over there. You boys can help me carry." She flashed them a mischievous grin as she walked off towards the baggage claim.

"Ah, hell." Missouri groaned.

Illinois shrugged, "It can't be worse than the crap she brings back from Yamanashi's house, right?" When neither of his brothers would look him in the eye, he began to panic. "Right?"

As it was, Minnesota wasn't sure how they had managed to cram all the luggage into the 15 passenger van he'd rented specifically to pick Iowa up with, nor how they managed to avoid getting trampled when they arrived back at his house. It took several minutes (and much shouting at the top of his lungs), but Minnesota managed to restore enough of a semblance of order to get all of the luggage inside the Midwestern states situated comfortably in Minnesota's den. "All right, Iowa," Michigan grumbled, "What's the big emergency? Some of us have work to do, you know."

Iowa rolled her eyes. "I had a great idea, of course. And I'm sure you'll all agree with me too." The other states groaned; Iowa's plots had a tendency to work, just not how anyone wanted them to.

Kansas blinked and asked, "Does this have anything to do with why you were so eager to ditch Dad in D.C.?"

As one all of the states turned to look at her confused. "Kansas? When did you get here?" Illinois asked.

"'Sota, I said to gather _our_ region." Iowa said pointedly, and then shrugged at Minnesota's disbelieving look. "Oh well, s'pose it won't hurt to have someone else in on it."

Kansas' eyebrow twitched. "I am in the Midwest." Minnesota watched, a little irritated, as most of the eastern Midwest states gave each other confused looks.

"…Really? Are you sure?" Iowa asked. Nebraska and Minnesota face-palmed. Didn't she know who was in their region?

Kansas growled and tackled her sister even as Nebraska and Minnesota tried to pull them apart. "A little help please." Minnesota said pointedly as several of the surrounding states just laughed and cheered, Missouri, for some reason, being the loudest.

* * *

**A.N.** Báxoje is the name of the tribe that occupied the majority of Iowa. The name 'Báxoje' means 'dusted faces' or 'grey snow.' The surrounding tribes called them Ioway. Currently the Ioway tribe lives on reservations in Nebraska and Oklahoma.

**Names:** In my mind, the human names are names they take in order to blend in among their people. All of the states share America's last name 'Jones' as they are his children. Their human names are as follows: England Arthur Kirkland, America Alfred Jones, Indiana Joseph Jones (although he has been using Indiana since the Indiana Jones movies came out), Ohio Kara Jones, Michigan George Jones, Wisconsin Eli Jones, Illinois Abraham Jones, Minnesota Daniel Jones, Iowa Rebecca Jones, Missouri Jesse Jones, North Dakota Amanda Jones, South Dakota Andrew Jones, Nebraska Josiah Jones, and Kansas Elisabeth Jones. These are the Midwestern States, which is all I'm going to list for the moment.

**Historical Note:** The Honey War was a border dispute between Missouri and the Iowa Territory in the 1830s. The dispute was over a 9.5 mile wide strip of land running the entire length of the border between the two. In the end, the Supreme Court settled the dispute in Iowa's favor. The name of the dispute comes from an incident in 1837, when tax agents from Kahoka, Missouri tried to collect taxes from what is now Van Buren County and Davis County, Iowa. Allegedly, Iowans chased the tax collectors away with pitchforks after they chopped down three honey bee trees in order to collect the honey for partial payment. For more details, visit Wikipedia at .org/wiki/Honey_War.


	4. If you annoy someone enough

**Those Damn Kids!**

_Chapter 4: If you annoy someone enough, they just might give in._

* * *

"You want to _what_?!" America roared into his cell. His tan face flushed red in fury.

"We want to invite Iggy to visit the Midwest." Iowa said calmly. "My sibs want to meet him too and I figured you wouldn't like us going to visit him _en masse_, so…" Put like that, her argument was _almost_ reasonable.

"No." America snapped. "No way. He kidnapped you! No way in hell am I giving him another chance to do it again." It was like he'd thought; she'd come home and immediately sang the praises of England to everyone she met. America was sure England had planned it, the sneaky bastard.

"Aw, c'mon, Daddy!" Iowa whined. Apparently, she was not above begging. "I'll love you forever and ever if you do!"

"Wha-what?" America sputtered. He knew it! He knew England would corrupt his little girl! Although if he were to be honest, Iowa was prone to theatrics like this; she thought it was funny. "No. England is not coming and that is final!"

"But Daddy!" Iowa cried. "You go to visit him all the time. Why can't he come visit us?" It appeared to be time to pull out the parent's ultimate weapon.

"Because I said so." America said firmly, his tone not allowing for arguments. "Besides," he added, "it isn't the same at all."

"Fine." Iowa pouted and hung up without even saying good-bye.

* * *

England hurried down the hallway to answer the phone. "Hello?" He asked politely, even though he just wanted to yell at whoever thought it was a good idea to call this late at night. His query was met with silence, so he repeated, "Hello?"

"…I hate you." America's voice sounded quite sullen.

"You called me at eleven o'clock at night just to tell me this?" England demanded, more than a little exasperated. What on earth could the silly boy's problem be this time? It had been a whole month since they had last spoke, and even then America had only said two words to him ("Fuck off"). England supposed that he should be angrier at the young nation, but, this late at night? He just couldn't be bothered.

"It's all your fault!" America burst out. "First you steal my daughter, poison her mind against me, and now the whole Midwest won't freakin' leave me alone!" England just blinked, more than a bit taken aback by this latest turn of events. Then America concluded his outburst with a rather subdued, "I hate you."

"America, you aren't making sense." England said. "What do you mean the Midwest won't leave you alone?" He figured it best not to get into an argument over the first two points, America wouldn't believe him anyway.

When America didn't immediately respond, England began to worry. "Thmwntootvsd…" America finally mumbled.

"…What?" England asked, "What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean?" His patience was about up with this nonsense.

America growled over the line before saying, "I _said_ they want you to visit…"

England stated at the phone for a moment, perplexed. "So? Why is that such an ordeal?" He finally asked. "It's not like I've never visited you before." Really, what was the twat's problem this time?

"I-it's not— I mean—" America sputtered, and England found himself grinning as he recalled the last time America had floundered for words. America rarely let England see this side of him, and England couldn't help but find it to be all too cute. "You've already tried to steal Iowa away from me!" America finally cried. "Like hell I'm gonna let you try to take any more of my babies away from me!"

"America," England sighed, "It's not as though they are babies anymore." Perhaps England and America were more alike than England had previously thought. England too had failed to recognize America's growth until it had been too late. He only hoped that America would be able to avoid the same mistake. "They are young adults and fully capable of deciding things on their own. They don't require as much pampering as you think they do."

"Sh-shut up!" America protested. "I know full well how old they are. It-it's just…" He trailed off hesitantly.

"America," England said gently, "Why exactly did you ring me up?"

"The Midwest want to you visit." America said quietly. "So? Do you want to come? Cuz I can tell them you said no…"

"You don't mind if I come to visit?" England asked, surprised. With the way America had been carrying on, England thought for sure that he was dead set against it. Not to mention, America, in the past, had always tried to limit his contact with the states.

"Not-not really." America sounded as though he were forcing himself to sound casual. Of course, the boy couldn't act to save his life, so he ended up sounding even tenser than before. "I mean, I'll be there the whole time, so don't get any ideas about stealing them away or anything!"

Chuckling, England replied, "I wouldn't dream of it." Then he added softly, "They're your children, America. They belong with you." He had once tried to claim the colonies as his own. And they had been loyal to him for a bit, but when push came to shove, they would always choose America, because they were his.

"…Thanks, Iggy." America said quietly. "Night."

"Goodnight, America." England returned before hanging up. It seemed he had a trip to plan, and he needed to find out just which states had requested his presence. It wouldn't do to leave one out after all.

* * *

Minnesota waited patiently for England and America to disembark from the plane, his patience a marked difference from his sister, whom was practically bouncing in place. They were meeting them in Minneapolis instead of Des Moines because Iowa wanted to take England shopping at the Mall of America. "Arthur!" Iowa shouted and ran towards the startled nation as soon as he passed security.

Minnesota walked calmly towards them as Iowa engulfed England in a suffocating hug. "Hello Arthur, Dad." He said politely, even as he watched America try to pry Iowa off England.

"Daniel, good to see you." America returned; his normally easy-going smile slightly strained. "Rebecca! Would you let go of him before he suffocates?"

Much to Minnesota's surprise, Iowa immediately let go of England. "Hi Dad!" She beamed as she latched onto America instead.

Chuckling at what Minnesota assumed was Iowa's antics, England turned to Minnesota and offered his hand to him, saying, "It's good to meet you, Daniel, was it?"

The lanky blonde smiled as he grasped England's outstretched hand. "Yah, although we have met before."

"Y-you have?!" America interjected. "When was this?"

Minnesota rolled his eyes. "War of 1812." Then he added, "'Course, I was just a little bit then. And I didn't 'xactly go by Daniel either."

America began, predictably, whining, "What? You've been tryin' to take my babies away for _that_ long?"

Iowa and Minnesota just shook their heads and started leading the two nations out of the airport. "Oh, c'mon Dad." Iowa said. "To be fair, we hated everyone that wasn't one of us. Heck, we even fought each other every chance we got." She mused cheerfully, especially considering the subject matter. "Although, we probably hated France more than anyone else."

America just looked confused. "Why did you hate France?"

Minnesota interjected before Iowa could launch into her France-hating speech. (Yes, it was a real, practiced speech.) "He may have owned our land according to all the nations, but he never had any control over us. So I'm sure you can understand why we were angry with him for selling our land, and our people, to a nation we wanted nothing to do with. Well, at the time, anyway." Minnesota corrected himself before America could get worked up over it. "I'd say that we're quite happy with the current arrangements, right?" He glanced at his sister hopefully.

"Hmm?" Iowa said absently, "Oh, yeah, sure." She snatched England's left arm excitedly, "I'm so glad you could make it, Iggy!" 'Sota and I had lots of fun planning for your visit." Minnesota sweatdropped, had she been paying attention at all? Then again, that was the best way to get America to drop a topic you didn't want to talk about, simply pretend it didn't matter.

Minnesota grumbled as he opened the door of his Suburban. "You mean _you_ planned it."

"Details, details." Iowa said absently, waving her hand carelessly as she climbed into the van. "Iggy, sit next to me!"

"Right," England laughed nervously as America began glaring at him again. "So where are we off to now?"

"The Mall of America, of course!" Iowa exclaimed. "You can't come to the Twin Cities and _not_ go to the Mall!"

America's face turned white. "We're going shopping?" He turned to Minnesota and asked, "How 'bout we drop them off and go… um, somewhere else?" Minnesota fully understood what was going though his father's mind. Of all the states, there were only four states that none of the rest would willingly go shopping with – California, Connecticut, New York, and Iowa. They each had their own quirks as far as what they would go shopping for, but the result was the same – a shopping trip from hell.

"Don't you have enough shoes?" England asked. "You certainly bought more than enough in London." Actually, based on what Iowa had brought back with her, Minnesota was sure that some of those stores wouldn't have to worry about their rent for awhile.

"Iggy!" Iowa said reproachfully, "A girl can never have too many shoes. Besides, it's fun to look at things even if you don't want to buy them."

"I don't think you can fit any more shoes in your trunk, Iowa." Minnesota said, "And remember, we have to fit all four of us in this SUV on the way to your house." He glanced at his dad sympathetically, as much as he would love to escape, he had promised Iowa that he would help in her (evil) plan.

* * *

**A.N.** No offense to any French people, but I imagine all the states/tribes that were included in the Louisiana Purchase would be rather upset with France for being sold without so much as a by your leave.

Iowa's shoe-shopping habit – Yes, her car is full of shoes. The trunk is full and she's now filling the backseat, and that's not even mentioning the shoes in her closet…


	5. Snowed In

**Those Damn Kids!**

_Chapter 5: Snowed In_

_

* * *

  
_

As soon as he walked in the door of Iowa's old farmhouse, England found himself surrounded by several states. He was a little surprised by the number of states present as he'd gotten the impression that it would be just America, Iowa, Minnesota, and himself with the other states occasionally dropping by.

"Hey guys!" Iowa greeted, pushing the crowd further inside the door. "Glad so many of you decided to show up. 'Sota and Dad could use some help unloading the Suburban."

England watched as the states rolled their eyes. "You went shopping again, didn't you?" A light brown-haired boy asked. "I don't know how you manage to fit all of it in this shack of yours."

"I have a shed and a barn too, you know." Iowa replied. "'Sides, when I do my spring cleaning, I usually end up selling a bunch of stuff on Craig's List. As you should know, seeing as you bought a tractor from me last year."

England noted that she didn't reply to the shack comment, although he thought that it was a rather nice house. From what he had seen so far, it was a large two-story farmhouse, most likely over one hundred years old. He did notice that the entryway was reminiscent of Japan's house. Vaguely, he recalled Iowa mentioning that one of her 'sister states' was one of Japan's prefectures. Perhaps she had taken a liking to some of Japan's architecture.

After they finished unloading the SUV, the states settled down in Iowa's living room. England surveyed the assembled states and America from his position at the door. Sitting next to America on one of the couches was the state that had called Iowa's house a shack and next to him was a girl who looked almost exactly like him. England noted with amusement that she was holding hands with the tall blond and blue-eyed Minnesotan. On the other couch was a reddish-brown haired teen with a mischievous grin. As England watched the boy tried to put his arm around the short golden-haired girl, who scowled and shoved him off. On the other side of the girl was a dark blond-haired boy who glared at the other teen.

"Ya gonna join us, England, or stand at the door all night?" America asked gesturing at a chair next to the couch he was on.

England shook his head and sat down in the indicated chair as America continued. "So, you've met Minnesota, but I don't think you've met the rest."

"I'm South Dakota Andy." The brown-haired boy next to America volunteered, then gestured to the girl next to him, "This is my twin, North Dakota Mandy." North Dakota gave him a timid smile and wave.

The reddish-brown haired boy grinned and continued the introductions. "Hey! I'm Missouri Jesse, though mosta the time folks just call me 'Souri."

"I'm Nebraska Josiah." The blond boy continued, "Nice ta meet ya."

The pretty blond girl smiled and said "My name is Kansas Elisabeth."

England nodded, "It's nice to meet all of you. Thank you for inviting me."

Nebraska laughed, "Don't get us wrong, pestering Dad into letting you visit was Iowa's idea." England blinked in surprise. Was Iowa the only one who had wanted to see him? The happy feelings that had been raging within him since America's half-arsed invitation a month ago started to diminish. "Anyway, I'm starved. What're we doin' for dinner?" Nebraska continued as though he hadn't just crushed England's cheerful spirit.

"We should go out to eat." Missouri commented. "How 'bout Outback?"

The other states groaned. "We went there for lunch, you 'tard!" South Dakota snarked. "We should go to IHOP."

"Their pancakes aren't as good as Uncle Matt's." Nebraska countered. "We should go to Culver's."

Everyone in the living room save England and America turned and glared at him. "We're talking about slow food restaurants, not fast food." South Dakota said pointedly.

"Culver's is slow food!" Nebraska returned defensively. "They bring your food to you."

"It's slow fast food then." Iowa's voice came from the doorway. "Why are we discussing eating out?" She looked more than a bit irritated, which England could understand seeing as they (Iowa and England) had just finished putting supper in the oven.

"Well, we're hungry." Missouri said, shrugging.

Iowa gave him a bemused look and said, "Well, that's good, considering supper will be done in about fifteen minutes."

"What did you make?" Kansas asked suspiciously, the other states looked similarly nervous. England supposed they had been victims of her experiments before.

"Oh, just a casserole." Iowa said calmly. "England helped me make it." She added with a smirk. Personally, England wasn't sure if opening cans of soup and bags of frozen vegetables counted as helping per say. However, he was looking forward to America being forced to admit that it didn't taste bad.

America blanched, "You let England help you in the kitchen?!" England glared at his former colony. He wasn't that bad! "Wait, when did you make supper?" America asked.

"When do you think? We made supper while you guys were unloading the SUV." Iowa replied. She rolled her eyes at America's disbelieving look. "C'mon, d'you really think I was gonna let you guys starve?"

"No." America muttered, pouting. "I just thought you wouldn't try to poison us is all."

* * *

They spent the evening watching various films, mostly action as all of the states had voted down horror (America's favourite) because North Dakota didn't handle horror very well. (Actually, they didn't want to listen to America's shrieks throughout the film and the rest of the night as well.) England noted that the states, including North Dakota, favoured the films with the most gore and blood. According to Missouri and Iowa, the higher the rating, the better the film (or movie as they called it) was bound to be. As midnight approached, Iowa declared it time for bed. She then informed her sisters that, instead of staying in their usual room, they would be sleeping in her room.

"So I take it Iggy an' me are getting that room." America asked; a bemused expression on his face.

"Yup." Iowa agreed. "Sorry, Iggy. I only have four bedrooms, so you and Dad have to share." She paused and continued, "Unless you'd like to share with one of the other guys." Then she grinned and added impishly, "Or one of the girls." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she said so. England felt his eyes widen in shock.

"Hell no!" America shouted, glaring at England as though daring him to contradict him.

England swallowed nervously, "Er, I think I'll share with America." At this rate America would end up shooting him before this visit was over. And considering he was supposed to stay until New Years… "After all," he continued, "we used to share a bed when you were a little colony." He watched in satisfaction as America's face turned pink. Certainly America (and the states) wouldn't be able to construe anything untoward from that.

"Well," Iowa said, clapping her hands together. "That settles that. Night all!"

"Night!" All the states chorused as they went to their respective rooms. England figured they must visit each other fairly often if they had rooms that were virtually assigned for their use.

* * *

When England woke up the next morning, he was alone in the spacious queen bed. He glanced around the room blearily, trying to determine what had woken him. So it was not entirely surprising that he jumped at the sound of an engine revving loudly. It ran for perhaps a moment before stuttering to a stop. Glancing at the clock, England was very disgruntled to discover that it was only 6:45 in the morning. Rolling over, he attempted to go back asleep only for the annoying roar to begin again. This happened two more times before England finally decided to give up on getting any more sleep. Upon reaching the kitchen, England found America slouched over a cup of coffee and Kansas at the stove, making bacon and eggs from the looks of it. "Coffee?" Kansas asked, gesturing to a mug sitting innocently on the kitchen table.

"Ah, no thank you." England managed, even as America smirked at him. "I don't suppose you have any tea?"

"Um, let's see." Kansas began rummaging around the cupboards. "Looks like there's lemon, black raspberry, and chai. Wait! Here's some bubble tea. Which would you like?" Kansas asked cheerfully, as though such a pitiful selection were normal.

America snickered into his coffee as England reluctantly chose the chai tea. He supposed it was better than nothing. He started as the engine roared to life again, and died, again. "What are they doing?" England asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as he really was. From the smug look on America's face, he wasn't very successful.

"Trying to get the tractor started." Kansas replied, not sounding at all offended by England's tone. "For some reason, Iowa decided to put the front loader on an old gas tractor. So, of course, they're having problems with getting it started." She shook her head. "I told her she should make sure it would start first."

"Ah," England hesitated, "Why do you need to use it?" At this hour, he added privetly.

America looked at him in disbelief, "It snowed all last night and is still snowing."

Kansas rolled her eyes. "Iowa's boarding horses. She has to get to the barn to get them out."

"Oh." England said, a little curious as to why Iowa was boarding horses, but decided against asking. It was probably to help out in finances anyway.

Abruptly, the back door opened and the states wearily filed into the kitchen, each grabbing a mug and heading for the coffee machine. "What's the verdict?" Kansas asked, apparently amused as the siblings fought over the coffee pot.

South Dakota shook his head, "There's no helping it. We're gonna hafta go in town and get some parts." He deftly plucked the pot from North Dakota's hands and began pouring himself some coffee, oblivious to Minnesota's glare. "You got any parts stores around here?"

Iowa sand into the seat next to England, having been the first to get her coffee. "Yeah, hopefully TSC'll have it, otherwise we'll have to head over to a dealer." She paused to gulp down some of the black liquid. "Which reminds me, I need to get more pellets and bedding anyway."

"Should we take the semi?" Missouri asked.

Nebraska snorted and shot him a dry look. "You wanna try and get the shed door open? Can't we just take a couple a trucks?"

Iowa shrugged, "Sure, d'you bring yours?" At Nebraska's nod, Iowa continued. "If we take your truck and mine we should be able to get all the stuff we need. We should all be able to squeeze in."

"Um, I don't need to go." North Dakota offered tentatively.

"You sure?" Minnesota asked, frowning.

"We should probably stock up on food and pop while we're in town too." Kansas added. "The news said that it's supposed to be really bad over the next few days."

America looked at Iowa, "Could we stop at Starbucks?" His large blue eyes stared at her pleadingly. England was surprised he wasn't asking to go to McDonald's, but then, he supposed that might be a given.

The states all gave their father irritated looks. "Starbucks is expensive and we're in the middle of a recession." South Dakota said. "Michigan can't afford to bury his dead and you want to go to freakin' Starbucks?!" England started at that. Was the recession really that bad? Sure he was having financial problems, but nowhere near as bad as that!

"Cool it, Andy." Nebraska ordered. "Do you really need to go to Starbucks or will gas station coffee do?"

America gave a sheepish grin and replied, "No, the gas station's fine."

Iowa rolled her eyes. "Whatever, we ready to go or what? I gotta get that carburator 'fore I can do anything."

At everyone's agreement, England noted that America was being unusually meek, they all piled into Nebraska and Iowa's trucks and headed into town. England found himself hoping that things would go at least a little smoother for the rest of the visit.

* * *

**A.N. **Sorry it took me so long to upload, I've been hitting some brick walls inspiration-wise and it's taking a bit of work to tear them down.


	6. One must always pick on noobs

**Those Damn Kids!**

_Chapter 6: One must always pick on noobs._

...

A young America grabbed his tie from the top drawer of the dresser England had built for him. Wobbling slightly on the stool he'd had to use to reach the drawer, America jumped to the side, trying to prevent falling backwards. The back of this vest caught on a partially open drawer and the young colony found himself stuck a good foot off the floor. Startled, the boy kicked his feet in desperation, his panic increasing when he couldn't get free. "Iggy! Iggy!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I'm coming, America." England's voice came from down the hall. America's panic began to subside as he heard the older nation's footsteps. "What is it…" England's voice trailed off as he entered the room and saw the colony's predicament.

"I'm stuck." America piped up helpfully, hoping the empire would quit staring already and get him down.

"Yes, I can see that." England's voice sounded strange, as though he were trying to hold back laughter. America scowled; he'd better not laugh.

After England had gotten him down, he asked the small boy, "What were you doing up there anyway?"

America presented his tie to his self-proclaimed big brother. "Can you put it on? I forgot how."

England couldn't help it and burst into laughter even as America shouted for him to stop.

…

The states hooted in laughter as their father pouted. "It wasn't that funny." He grumbled, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.

"Wow, that sounds like Iowa." Missouri said teasingly. "Remember the time you got stuck on the semi's door?"

Nebraska snickered, "And here I thought only you could get into situations like that."

"Hey, the way my day had been going, I knew I'd end up ripping my coat if I tried getting down on my own." Iowa said defensively. The boys only laughed harder.

"But if you ripped your coat, wouldn't that give you an excuse to get that pink Carhartt you have your eye on?" South Dakota asked.

Iowa just sniffed and ignored him. Brothers could be so annoying.

Minnesota asked, "Wasn't that the same day you took out the rafters in your barn with the combine?"

"Yes," Iowa grumbled, "And I also lost one of my shoes in the grain bin…" As the others started laughing again, she just threw up her hands and huffed. "You guys are so mean!"

England laughed along with the Americans, relaxed and enjoying himself for the time-being. It had been an interesting trip to town, to say the least. It had been quite appalling to learn that the only store in town that stocked his favourite Earl Grey tea was Wal-Mart (it didn't taste quite right either, not that he would be so callous as to say as much to his host). He was also surprised by the states bypassing McDonald's and going to Wendy's for lunch (much to America's displeasure, although he at least quit whinging about it after he received his burger). Upon their return, the states had promptly fixed the tractor, gotten the horses taken care of, and were now relaxing over supper and telling anecdotes, each trying to outdo the other (although it seemed that most of the stories revolved around Iowa, Missouri, and Nebraska).

After they finished supper, the girls shooed them off to the den while they cleaned up. England found himself once again sandwiched between America and one of the states, this time it was Nebraska. He watched in amusement as the states (and America) promptly started a _Halo_ tournament. England had never seen anything quite like it – as they had six players (England still wasn't sure how they talked him into playing, though that might have had something to do with the sad puppy eyes that America had sent his way) and only four controllers per X-box 360, the states had hooked up a second X-box to another telly (that did explain why Iowa had two tellies in her den). He was a little surprised to find that they were all playing the same game until America explained that they were playing each other online.

England's happiness at being included quickly died as it seemed all the states had decided to target him, even though he was just learning how to play. The only good thing to come from this was that after America realised what was going on, he began protecting England. It was actually rather sweet of him, England thought.

"Dammit!" America exclaimed. "Would you stop targeting him already?"

The states just laughed. "Sorry, Dad." Nebraska smirked. "It's tradition to target noobs. You know that."

America scowled. "Is that why you insisted it be Nations vs. States?"

"'Course." South Dakota said matter-of-factly. "Otherwise, you'd probably wipe the floor with us."

America growled and pulled out his mobile. "Fine, if that's how you want to play."

"You can't call Tony!" Missouri quickly interjected. "It's still Nations vs. States."

America smirked as whomever he was calling answered. "Hey Mattie, got about an hour to kill? Yeah, me an' the kids are playing _Halo_. Yeah, Nations vs. States. Think you could help out?" The nation grinned as he heard his brother's reply. "Thanks, Matt. See you online!"

England watched, confused, as the states exchanged looks of horror. And, sure enough, as soon as Canada joined their team the tide began to turn.

…

The days just seemed to fly by and England found that even though the states had many chores around the farm (mostly filling in for Iowa as she was often needed in her capital, Des Moines – a silly French name – for one thing or another), they still found time to play games of all kinds, usually ones that required teams or some form of cooperation. It was now Christmas Eve, a night that England had never had any sort of company on before, and they were playing yet another team game.

"How come England's always on my team?" America whinged, his lips drawn into a childish pout.

The states just rolled their eyes and continued playing. But America was right, England realised. Whenever they divided into teams, America and he were always on the same team, usually by themselves. Well, England found he couldn't complain too much as it forced America and himself to cooperate, which was a rare feat indeed. Actually, it almost seemed as though the states were conspiring to make the two nations get along. Well, it was working for the most part, England thought with a blush on his face.

The game, and England's thoughts, was interrupted by America's mobile ringing. "Ah! Sorry, guys. It's my boss—" and that was as far as the tall nation got before his states erupted in a chorus of "What?" "It's Christmas!" "No!" and "Tell him to call back on the 26th!"

America just shook his head and left the room, leaving behind a group of angry states. "That jerk!" Iowa finally burst out. "What does he think he's doing? I can't believe I voted for that jerk!"

"Iowa, please." England said calmly. "Sometimes these things happen. I've had to work through many holidays myself. It's part of being a nation."

Missouri scowled. "It is really mean of him, considering Obama gave him the month off."

Minnesota just rolled his eyes at his siblings' chorus of "Yeah" and "Jerk." "And in a few days you'll be back to singing his praises."

"Will not!" Iowa proclaimed stubbornly.

The next morning England awoke to find that the bed was still missing an American. Scowling slightly, England made his way downstairs where he found the other nation working on his laptop, a large mug full of coffee beside him. "Did you even come to bed last night?" England growled irritably. He'd grown used to waking up in the same bed as the other blonde – that and he was always grouchy before his first cup of tea.

America glanced up from whatever he was working on. "No, sorry Iggy." He yawned and took a swig of his coffee. "There was an emergency Senate session last light. It didn't end until a few hours ago."

"An emergency session?" England blinked, "Whatever for?" Then the gentleman nation blanched, "Ah! You don't have to tell me. I mean, it's none of my business probably and—"

"It's okay, Iggy." America grinned as he cut the elder nation's rambling off. "The Senate voted on the Healthcare bill last night." He paused then added, "Well, actually they voted to quit amending it and to actually put it to vote."

England frowned, "In the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?" England couldn't help but wonder if it would really have mattered if they had waited a few more days to vote on it.

"Boss wanted it taken care of." America shrugged, apparently not too bothered by it.

Both nations were suddenly distracted by the sound of feet thundering down the stairs. "It's time for presents!" Missouri and Iowa shouted in unison, both states practically bouncing in place. It was the only time England had ever seen them anywhere near energetic before their first cup of coffee. Their siblings followed them down the stairs at a more sedate pace.

"Shouldn't we have breakfast first?" Kansas yawned. "I could certainly go for a cup of coffee."

"I just made a fresh pot an hour ago." America said; his blue eyes sparkled in amusement.

"What time did you get up?" North Dakota asked curiously.

"Ah, well…" America stammered and glanced away, obviously unwilling to answer the question.

"He didn't go to bed." England said helpfully.

"Dad!" All of the states shouted.

"Why would you stay up all night?" Minnesota exclaimed, worry filling his light blue eyes. "What did Obama need so badly that you had to stay up all night for?"

"President Obama." America corrected sternly. "And there was an emergency Senate session last night."

At those words, America found he now had seven worried pairs of eyes focused on him. "...Is everything alright?" Minnesota finally asked.

America laughed cheerfully, "Everything's fine, they just finally decided to leave the Healthcare Bill alone and put it up for vote. Personally, I'll be glad to have this whole mess behind me." The blond nation said optimistically. He had been worn out by the constant debate over the silly bill and was more than ready to be done with it.

The states all frowned and exchanged glances. "Did it pass?" Iowa demanded angrily.

America blinked, "The vote last night was to stop amending it and to have it put to final vote. I think they're planning on the final voting sometime this next week. The date's not official yet."

England watched as everyone relaxed marginally and decided to change the topic. After all, who wanted to discuss politics on Christmas? "Would you like some help making breakfast, Kansas?" He asked politely, knowing he'd be turned down. He'd also learned over the course of his visit that Kansas had _de facto_ control over the kitchen.

Kansas blinked, "Hmm? Oh no. You needn't trouble yourself. We've got it covered." Without waiting for a response, she and North Dakota hurried into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

The states looked like they wanted to continue grilling their father, but instead went for their morning gathering around the coffee pot. If there was one universal trait the Midwestern States had in common with their father it was that their day did not begin without a large dose of caffeine in some form - the preferred form of this being coffee.

...

**A.N.** I'm alive! I know it's been forever since I updated, but I recently noticed I had a few new reviews which gave me the necessary guilt trip to crank the rest of the chapter out. Thank you!

*Ducks and hides behind a door to avoid the angry mob with pitchforks*

This story was originally in '09, but somehow the "Great Healthcare Debate" worked its way in there which was in '10, so um... Meh! There were plenty of blizzards and ice storms last winter too. Although, I believe Detroit wasn't as bad off in '10 as they were in '09, but that's just a guess for me since we don't really hear news about Michigan very much. The vast majority of people here in Iowa (that I talked to anyway) were very much against the Healthcare Bill, which is why Iowa was so upset. Personally, I'm of two minds about it - there was a lot of unnecessary stuff in there, including new expenses that are going to be pushed off on the states which are already struggling financially, but I got an extra year of being on my parents' insurance (not that I've even used it this year). Okay, way too much political stuff there.

Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think!


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